Why do things happen the way they do? I have been trying to find a solution to a family issue and have been looking in all the wrong places - and then today someone suggested that I don't make it my issue. I let it be and stop trying to solve it.
I am a 'fixer' I didn't realise how much until even in a general conversation I found myself suggesting solutions for others, when it really wasn't needed. Now I wonder why I do it - most likely because I suffer from the 'Mother-Guilt' complex!
I also listened and heard a simple sentence - "It takes 2 people to argue" - silence solves all! I immediately said "Wow you are right, I can just say 'I am not going to discuss this'" and then I realised that even that was an explanation and a discussion in itself. I don't have to feel guilty, I don't have to participate, I don't have to do it anymore.
I am the Boss! My life is mine to live, mine to enjoy and mine to control. I don't have to do anything for anyone else, unless I choose to. I am not being mean in this statement or even selfish - I am just learning to live my life.
So away with the guilt, away with the explanations and away with the negotiations. I am going to set some boundaires - Wish me luck!
P.S. Thank you all for your wonderful support - am feeling a little better. Each day is a new step along the road to recovery and I have found a tiny bubble of hope and light inside today.
P.P.S Wish me luck to make these changes last.
1 comment:
Yes you are going to need the luck to make the changes, you will do that, do I know why ?
Well yes I do, you are our daughter and I just have to think back to the little bubbly girl with the beautiful curls and your determination to do things. From the day you were born you had your finger in the air as if to say, Hey world, this is me.
I do hope that lessons learnt today will make your life much easier and also encourage your family to realise that they have to make their own choices as well. Lots of love
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