Why do things happen the way they do? I have been trying to find a solution to a family issue and have been looking in all the wrong places - and then today someone suggested that I don't make it my issue. I let it be and stop trying to solve it.
I am a 'fixer' I didn't realise how much until even in a general conversation I found myself suggesting solutions for others, when it really wasn't needed. Now I wonder why I do it - most likely because I suffer from the 'Mother-Guilt' complex!
I also listened and heard a simple sentence - "It takes 2 people to argue" - silence solves all! I immediately said "Wow you are right, I can just say 'I am not going to discuss this'" and then I realised that even that was an explanation and a discussion in itself. I don't have to feel guilty, I don't have to participate, I don't have to do it anymore.
I am the Boss! My life is mine to live, mine to enjoy and mine to control. I don't have to do anything for anyone else, unless I choose to. I am not being mean in this statement or even selfish - I am just learning to live my life.
So away with the guilt, away with the explanations and away with the negotiations. I am going to set some boundaires - Wish me luck!
P.S. Thank you all for your wonderful support - am feeling a little better. Each day is a new step along the road to recovery and I have found a tiny bubble of hope and light inside today.
P.P.S Wish me luck to make these changes last.