Friday, March 11, 2011

I lost it!

Loss and how it affects us all, is something very much on my mind at the moment.

I have 'lost' my wedding ring :( I am totally devastated about this. In fact I have fallen into a state of despair similar to the loss I experienced at my first miscarriage. I know this sounds so dramatic for a small, little ring of gold metal, but I feel as though a significant part of me is missing; and like the loss of my first baby - I keep thinking of all the things that I could have and should have done.

These feelings are exacerbated by the thoughts that it is not lost, but just misplaced and if I look hard enough I will find it.  I first noticed it missing on Wednesday as I was about to leave for University and delayed my departure by 30 minutes to search. My search continued on Wed night for hours, it kept me awake all Wed night and took up all my thoughts yesterday.

My wedding ring is one of, if not the most precious possession I own. I realise that it is not my husband, it is not our love, but it is my ring. Next week we will celebrate 22 years of marriage and for the first time - I will not have my ring on my finger. I do not know how to deal with this overwhelming sense of loss.

So as I spend the weekend, having 'another' look for my ring - I will face the fact that I may have lost something very special to me. Isn't it strange to think that the loss, of the ring that I have worn everyday for 22 years, that I have almost taken for granted as it is such a part of me, would affect me so. But it has.


darlin said...

Beverly that's unfortunate that you've lost your ring, thank goodness it's not something worse. What works for me when I lose something, I have a negative emotion or a bad day I find things to be grateful for. Here's a prime example: we're experiencing a loss right now, my daughters Nona (grandmother) passed away on Monday and tomorrow we're going to bury her. I'm sad that she's gone but she's in a much better place now, she's with her husband who passed on last April. Less than a year and she went to join him. I'm extremely grateful that I had this lady in my life, I learned some valuable life lessons from her and my daughter had a beautiful grandmother for 21 years.

The ring has sentimental value but I'm sure your husband means much more to you then your ring did. So when you read this I suggest you celebrate! ;-) I'm not trying to minimize your loss by no means, I feel for you, I really do. Rings can be replaced, a good husband can't and from my experience a good husband is hard to find these days! lol Try to have a great day my friend! And I hope you find your ring, that it turns up when you least expect it to.

Congrats on 22 years!

Beverly said...

Darlene, thank you for your lovely supportive comment. I am sorry for your loss - yours is something so much more than the loss of my ring, so I send you my wishes.

To date my ring has not turned up. I am still sad about it, but resigned. I am keeping a gratitude journal this year and I must admit it was hard to find something to be grateful for during the last couple of days - but I did and it has helped.

Michelle said...

Gosh! How distressing, Beverly! I'm sorry that it has remained 'hidden' from you. :( I think there is a saint you can ask for help with lost things ...