Today I realised that I am more a wo-mum nowadays rather than a woman and I feel a little sad about this fact. This weekend we will celebrate Mother's Day and I will be counting my blessings and enjoying the day along with mothers around the world, but in becoming a full-time mother, I have lost a little of the woman - who was Me!
At some time during the past 23 years, I have moved from the woman that I was into a role, where motherhood comes first. The most important thing to note about the above, is that I wanted and still want to be a Mum more than anything I have ever wanted. I was very little when, I knew that this, was, and is, what my primary role in life was going to be.
Motherhood has been one of my greatest blessing. The day I miscarried our first little baby (March 26th, 1989 - yes I still remember) was the day that I nearly broke. My grief was so encompassing that I could not even breathe and it was only through Ivan's love and strength, that I faced the next day and the next. The gift of Elizabeth's birth just 10 months later, was one of the most wonderful days in my life. The subsequent births of both Matthew and Sarah, fulfilled my wildest dreams, overcoming the sadness that we were to feel on 2 further occasions of loss, between Elizabeth and Matthew's birth.
My children are wonderful - they fulfill me. I enjoy nurturing, teaching and encouraging them. They are not only my pride and joy, but also my friends. I connect with each one of them in a different way, and see traces of myself in them.
So why the sadness at Wo-mum, rather than Woman?
Well today I treated myself to Ricky Martin's Greatest Hits CD & DVD. The girls and I were watching the DVD and I remembered that I was one of 'those girls' who 'Shook her Bon-Bon' - I used to wear the sexy clothes and walk the talk, danced the dance and sang the songs of the sensual woman. Over time and especially over the last few years, this woman has been subsumed by duty, work, motherhood and recently illness and I miss her.
So to all Mothers - celebrate Motherhood, but don't lose yourself - be a Woman as well as a Wo-Mum.