Friday, May 10, 2013

Woman or Wo-mum ?

Today I realised that I am more a wo-mum nowadays rather than a woman and I feel a little sad about this fact. This weekend we will celebrate Mother's Day and I will be counting my blessings and enjoying the day along with mothers around the world, but in becoming a full-time mother, I have lost a little of the woman - who was Me!

At some time during the past 23 years, I have moved from the woman that I was into a role, where motherhood comes first. The most important thing to note about the above, is that I wanted and still want to be a Mum more than anything I have ever wanted.  I was very little when, I knew that this, was, and is, what my primary role in life was going to be.

Motherhood has been one of my greatest blessing. The day I miscarried our first little baby (March 26th, 1989 - yes I still remember) was the day that I nearly broke. My grief was so encompassing that I could not even breathe and it was only through Ivan's love and strength, that I faced the next day and the next. The gift of Elizabeth's birth just 10 months later, was one of the most wonderful days in my life. The subsequent births of both Matthew and Sarah, fulfilled my wildest dreams, overcoming the sadness that we were to feel on 2 further occasions of loss, between Elizabeth and Matthew's birth.

My children are wonderful - they fulfill me. I enjoy nurturing, teaching and encouraging them. They are not only my pride and joy, but also my friends. I connect with each one of them in a different way, and see traces of myself in them.

So why the sadness at Wo-mum, rather than Woman?

Well today I treated myself to Ricky Martin's Greatest Hits CD & DVD. The girls and I were watching the DVD and I remembered that I was one of 'those girls' who 'Shook her Bon-Bon' - I used to wear the sexy clothes and walk the talk, danced the dance and sang the songs of the sensual woman.  Over time and especially over the last few years, this woman has been subsumed by duty, work, motherhood and recently illness and I miss her.

So to all Mothers - celebrate Motherhood, but don't lose yourself - be a Woman as well as a Wo-Mum.


Mom said...

You only have to look at the beautiful green top that you bought recently to know that you still the sexy woman you knew, because you are still the sexy women you are. Keep up your spirits, you are still stunning, beautiful, chirpy, and all in all a wonderful Mum.

Red said...

Well said. I think most Moms would connect with you and know exactly what you are saying. happy Mother's Day to you.

Beverly said...

Thanks Red and thank you Mum - you are the inspiration for me being a great mother.

darlin said...

I sure can be absent minded sometimes... I went to facebook to share with you what Andy Rooney has to say about women over 40, I LOVE what he says but I got sidetracked, but I'll go back again to see if I can find it! lol

"Andy Rooney's thoughts on women over forty:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over forty most of all.

Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over forty will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over forty doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting.

A woman over forty knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of forty give a hoot what you might think about her or what she’s doing.

Women over forty are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

A woman over forty has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Women over forty couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over forty. They always know.

A woman over forty looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over forty is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over forty for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of forty-plus, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some twenty-two-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,” here’s an update for you. Now 80 percent of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage."

The last few lines are funny, but the rest of this makes me realize that I don't think that I'd trade my size 5-7 for the old 1-3, nor the mentality I had back then. It was through my life lessons, good and bad, I have matured, I'm confident and I don't have to prove myself to anyone. I say thank you Andy Rooney for helping me deal with this upcoming 'crisis' birthday!

Have a wonderful day Beverly and know you are a beautiful woman, yes sometimes a wo-mum but both roles look stunning on you!