Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Christmas 2012

Facing Christmas

Every year I look forward to Christmas with glee and joy and focus on all the wonderful, beautiful, exciting things that uplift our home at this time of the year. I take note of those around me less fortunate, less blessed and share a prayer and thought for them. I must admit it has been at times a fleeting prayer, as I indulge in the blessings of my own family and my life.

This year I am looking at Christmas from a slightly different place. My diagnosis of cancer and treatment has robbed me of energy and the bubbles that normally fill my days. I have been focussing on a 3 week regimen almost since August and even today just a week from Christmas I am resting in bed, conserving energy, just to get to the ballet this afternoon.

I am however, learning new lessons, perhaps the most valuable ones I could ever have learnt.  I am not indispensible (I would like to think I am); I am not indestructible (I thought I was); I am not a failure (for asking for help) and no-one hates me for not being perfect.

How many times have I judged others for not stepping up to the plate? How many times have I taken on more than I should, just because I didn’t ask for help? And more importantly how many times have I denied those around me the chance to share their love for me, by helping me just a little.

So Facing Christmas 2012 is a challenge.

My health is now a gift, not the thing I take for granted.

Your help is also a gift for which I cannot thank you enough.

Your prayers, thoughts and wishes lighten up my day as much as the electricity that lightens up our homes.

So facing Christmas 2012 – I wish you all health most of all, love and support of family and friends and my love. Thank you for being my friends.  

1 comment:

Mom said...

That is such a wonderful and positive attitude, something I also need to learn from what you have written, most days I ended up tired because I am too stubborn to let anyone else do it for me. So not only has our cancer changed your life and thoughts, we all have had to look at life in a different way, and we hope to go day by day and walk this journey with you.