Busy and Daunted!

My life has taken over living!

This week has been such a busy one, and I have realised that being busy does not allow much time to really live. I think that one of the major disadvantages of modern life, is that we have so much to do and to achieve every 24 hours, that we leave ourselves little time to contemplate, to think and in my case to create! Most families have both parents working, children at school and after school activities, family meals are late and rushed and TV fills in the few hours that are left in the day. TV is wonderful for being busy through other people's lives. We watch shows that show us everyone else being busy, we seldom watch shows where there is stillness and quiet and if we do - we often fall asleep. (David Attenborough - wildlife - his amazing voice!)

I also realised this week that I am very daunted by the thought of University, I received my course profile for both my religion courses and the readings alone are huge. I realised that I have my first essay due on April 8th and I have no idea how to even begin researching something like this??? I know that if I just go with the flow and don't think about the task ahead that I will easily be able to achieve what is needed, but whenever I take the time to think about what I am about to tackle, I get very, very nervous!

It is over 26 years, since I last did any sort of serious study and even then I found the whole process difficult, of course not difficult in that I could not do it, but difficult to commit to, to achieve and mostly the fear of failure often made me give up before I had even started.

So two more goals for 2009 are:
to find my stillness and time to reflect and live, to write and create
and also to allow myself the courage to succeed, to no longer fear failure before I even start, to just try and then succeed.