It isn't gone!

I wasn't 100% happy with the oncologist's interpretation of the PET/CT scan results on Thursday 8th. My pain levels and my own feelings told me that there was something more going on.

Mother's Day - Sunday 11th - Started with some beautiful gifts from my children and a family visit to church in the morning.

Matthew bought me a beautiful bunch of fresh flowers

Sarah gave me two great movies to watch

And Elizabeth gave me a locket filled with charms.
 

The day however, ended horribly. The pain I have been experiencing for the past 5-6 weeks hit a high and Ivan took me into hospital. A couple of doses of morphine later - I was admitted to the ward. Between Monday and Wednesday afternoon - I didn't eat a thing - the colonoscopy prep - made me so sick, but finally I had the colonoscopy on Wednesday afternoon. 

The results - numerous small tumours on the outside of the lower bowel, constricting and narrowing the passage - the inside of the colon is clear - but it appears that the peritoneum has a mass of very small tumours a number of which are clearly cancerous. 

Not a very good week.  I stayed in hospital until Friday attempting to find a pain and food management schedule that will work and begin chemotherapy again this coming Thursday 22nd May, 2014.

As my oncologist explained: It is now a long term management plan. There is no end goal to the chemo regimen, but rather a plan to keep the cancer small and controllable.
My plan - live life day by day and keep up my JOY

STILL CANCER FREE!

My PET/CT scan has come back clear.  After a week of delays and issues with the radioactive dye - I finally had my scans yesterday and today had a meeting with my oncologist. It was such a relief to hear that there are no active tumours. My blood-test cancer markers have risen slightly since the end of my last treatment, but are still well within the 'normal' range.

As my cancer has metastasized - it will be an ongoing matter of monitoring for the rest of my life. So the next step is to have another blood test in 6 weeks. For now I don't have to have any more treatment - either chemotherapy or other options.

In 6 weeks we will have another discussion - wherein we may begin a regimen of biological/chemotherapy maintenance, which will ensure that any cellular cancer cannot develop into tumours.

It is a very strange feeling - relief, excitement and thanks to God - for the great news. But, also the feeling that I need to find a way to live, live not only scan to scan, blood test to blood test, but to live the rest of my life.

I am planning to seek some professional help with this issue, as I have felt 'sick' for the past two years and I don't plan to live the next 30 or so, with the issue - that I am a cancer victim.

But..... for tonight I am celebrating.  NO CANCER!

Day out at the Dam!

Our friend Chevy is visiting for a few days business with Ivan, but it has been lovely having him stay at our house for the weekend.

We took a drive up to Fernvale for lunch and then went on Wivenhoe Dam. The last time I was up there was in 2011 just before our major floods. It was great to see how well the area has recovered. We have had our first cold snap of winter this weekend - it was cool and breezy - but beautiful.

The girls had fun skimming stones with Chevy.

Night at the Ballet

Elizabeth and I had a wonderful night out last night.  We have season tickets to the Queensland Ballet and last night's performance was Coppelia. Not only did we attend the ballet, but we also decided to treat ourselves to a night in the city.

Elizabeth in our lovely room

Our apartments

South Bank - bubbling with activity

My beautiful Elizabeth

Brisbane River

Riverside Walk

We found a great studio apartment within walking distance of South Bank and QPAC and arrived just after 2pm for check-in.  A clean place, comfy bed and pillows was just delightful. 

We then spent the afternoon down at the river.  It was really special as there was a Festival to celebrate Budda's birthday and we enjoyed dancing, performances by martial arts groups, jugglers and music. Followed by an early dinner.

Elizabeth - photosynthesising
 

Enjoying the markets

A toast to Elizabeth and a great weekend.

We took a selfie with our ballet tickets.

A windy walk back to the apartment to change for the ballet was delightful.

The ballet was stunning. Professional and delightful, not only well danced, but brilliantly acted and performed. 

Thank you my darling girl for a wonderful evening out.

Motivation!

One of the problems I have faced since being diagnosed with cancer has been motivation.  It has been very easy to fall into the trap of wallowing in health issues.  I know that it has been essential to nurture my energy and allow myself time to recover, but over the last few weeks I have found it very frustrating that I am still requiring 'rest & recovery' time.  I want to be well and I want to be well NOW!

Oh Me of little patience.

Anyway, last week I took a tumble. It was a very hard fall, and I didn't really hurt myself, but it seemed to give me the mental jolt as well as the physical that I needed.  My moment of self-pity was over.  I had been putting out to the Universe that I was useless and even my writing was pathetic - I mean I had written two books - no-one had read them and those who had didn't think they were very good.  Oh Poor Me!

Then the universe answered:  Matthew told me that one of his friends had just finished my 2nd book.  He had picked up my book and read it in just two days - loved it and hated me for not having book three finished.  He thought it was excellent. 

I was so excited about the whole think - that I began an intensive, motivated action plan.  I actually looked up my book sales and discovered that I have sold books. People are reading them. I put out a 'plea' on Facebook - did anyone want to buy my books and within 72 hours I have had 11 orders - Wow!

So I am motivated to begin living again.  Just needed a little 'shove!'

Happy Easter and Happy Anniversary

Today is a special Easter Sunday as it is also Mum and Dad's 51st wedding anniversary.  They were engaged on a Good Friday 53 years ago and married on April 20th, 1963. To my wonderful parents - wishing you a special day.

 

Mom and Dad celebrating Easter and their Anniversary with a bunny kiss

We started the morning with the traditional Easter Egg hunt - even though the kids are 16, 19, 20 & 24 - the Easter Bunny is still expected to hide the eggs.  It was soooooo much harder this year & I had fun watching them all.

Elizabeth, Sarah and Patrick with their eggs
 

Elizabeth bought me some special eggs

Then at lunch time Elizabeth, Patrick and I joined Mum, Dad, Kevin and Kay at our local club for lunch. Great food, good company and some lovely laughs.

Lunch at Jets with friends and family

A wonderful day to spend the day.

It is also a good day to celebrate - just 9 weeks after shaving my head completely bald - I have an amazing head of hair - it is so soft and pretty - I am loving it.

So to all my family and friends - Happy Easter.

April news

April has started with some lovely cooler nights and beautiful mornings. It is one of my favourite months in Queensland. The skies are clear blue, the sun warm and day time temperatures in the mid 20's.

We did however, have a storm the other night that caused a major electrical short in the power pole just outside our house.  A couple of hours without electricity resulted in a great game of cards by candlelight.

 

 

 

Today a very special thing occurred - Sarah went down to her Grandad so that he could teach her to carve.  Sarah is very gifted artistically and has expressed interest in carving. Today she began a 'comfort bird' - a very special carving. 

Gloves for protection and a Grandad for instruction

A good happening of the month so far was finding a very special book. Ever since I was a little girl my Mom has talked about a book called "Barney Blue Eyes" - it was a favourite of hers as a child and she had a copy she read to me when I was little.  Sometime during our moves and growing up the book went missing.  For at least the last 10-15 years we have hunted every antique store and second-hand bookshop - no luck.

But .... in searching for another title on 'abebooks' - I thought to type in the title and lo & behold - I found "More Barney Blue Eyes" - it is a First Edition published in 1938 and in really good condition. I ordered it straight away and had the joy of giving it to Mom just a few days ago.



Mom and I with her book.  We both look a little worn - me with little hair and Mom with scars & plasters from some basal cell cancer removals - but those smiles say it all - JOY!